Multiple times a day, but mostly/definitely at night. I walk into the bathroom and lift up my shirt to look at my chest in the mirror, see how red the skin is, check the problem spots, keep track of the peeling. And there’s a house out the window that I can totally see into, which means they can see into my bathroom. Usually they’re watching tv, facing away, but sometimes one of them is in the kitchen, or doing dishes, and then they’ve gotten the full show. Just a woman who regularly walks into her bathroom and immediately lifts up her shirt. I wonder if they’ve wondered about me, why I do this, if I know that people can see in.
I’ve lost track of how many people have seen my chest now. And most of the people who have seen it recently have probably seen more boobs than I can imagine.
Anyway, I finished radiation! What a grind that was. And what a grind this ongoing chemo is. Nowhere near as bad as the TCHP chemo I started with, but still not a ton of fun, and hard to grasp how much longer I have to do this (currently scheduled to finish early 2027). My new favorite side effect is loss of appetite. It comes and goes, but it’s hilariously bewildering to sit and think about all my favorite foods and have my body be like “…meh.”
Next up is starting hormone therapy. The recommendation is basically to never have estrogen in my body ever again, starting kind of immediately. That is a big ol’ bummer for my mental/emotional stability and my bones and my joints and my heart. It will probably involve surgery to take out my ovaries, and then daily aromatase inhibitor pills for 10 years. I’ll be honest – I’m pretty unpsyched about this part.
But for now I’m gonna heat up my leftover burrito and then go to a crochet class. Let me know if you want a poorly-crocheted coaster or scarf in the next few months!
Welp 
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